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| So it is about 9 months away from my wedding. I have been engaged for 2 years in December... i am freaking out!
I am very happy and excited to be marrying this man that i have loved and been with for 3 years but that fact of the matter is that i am still scared. This marriage thing is a lifetime commitment... and that means never giving up on it. That means that i will have to look at the same face for 60 years. That means that i have to deal with the same annoying habits for a lifetime! That means that if i think that this is a mistake it is not something that i am going to be able to take back, not something that i will not be able to go back in time and stop! I just sometimes wonder if i have thunk this through all the way?
But on the other hand... i love this man with all my heart. I know that he loves me just as much or even more then i love him. He cares about what happens to us and worries about our future. He is there for me when and if i need him. He cares about what i think and what i need. I feel safer then i have ever felt with this man! He possibly could be the love of my life!
But saying that he is the love of my life is a big thing to say!
I just feel confused, worried, scared, and above all things selfish!
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|  | Currently Watching
Galaxy Quest
By Patrick Breen, Jeffrey Howard, Kevin McDonald, Alan Rickman, Sam Rockwell
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So i couldn't sleep. So i decided to get up and write on the wonderful blog that is always here.
Mostly i couldn't sleep because there was a lot of things on my mind. Things that have happened in the past. Things that i want to say sorry for. Things that i wish had happened differently. Things that maybe shouldn't have happened at all... but mostly things that for one reason or another can not be changed. I feel like i should be apologizing to certain people and i know that they will probably not read this but i still need to get it out.
I am sorry that I broke up with you after one day. I was a silly kid that didn't know what I was getting into. I want to say sorry for letting our friendship fall apart because of it. I am sorry that we fell out after high school. I am sorry that i have not talked to many people after high school. I want to say that i am sorry when i transfered to a new high school that i really didn't talk to anyone after that from my old high school. I am sorry that i was not there for my friends when you were having a hard time or just needed a shoulder to cry on. I am sorry that i have been only worried about myself and not paying attention to what was going on in your life. I am sorry that i took advantage of you in little or big ways. I am sorry that i make you do everything even though it should be a partnership. Basically i am just sorry for all the things that i have done wrong.
I think that i am done now. I am sorry that you had to read that if you did. I just felt that i needed to write it down so that i got it out of my head and put it somewhere where i could come back to it if i really needed to.
Anyway.... ummm... i think that i am going to go to bed now cause i have to get up in the morning so that i can go to work. But please if anyone who reads this knows when adoration for the Antioch retreat is tomorrow night then i would be happy to know that information. Have a wonderful night all! Love you all!! Bridgett
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| Wow... i have not been on this website for a really long time and it seems to have changed a lot.
Well it is April now... and i will be getting married in about a little less then one year. That is crazy to think about. I am going to be an old married person... gross!! Well i guess not old really but that is not the point.
I have noticed lately that i have been really bad keeping up with my friends and i know that i don't want to be one of those people that just sit at home and do nothing because i have no one to hang out with. I don't want to be that person that has no one because i think that it is better to stay at home. I don't know... maybe it will be easier when there are actual places that i can actually go to seeing as there is not a lot for people that are not 21 or older. But all my friends from high school are all gone to college and have a lot more important things to do you know? I don't know.
I went and took my placement exams for IUSB yesterday. I guess my mom was pretty happy about it. She told me the other day that she was not going to ask me to go to school anymore because it never worked. She decided that she was just going to tell me that i have to go to school. I know that she is just to look out for me and make sure that i am happy... and i love her for that!! We have come very far from where we started and i am happy that she is my mom!
I am working at Hobby Lobby now fultime... just cause i need the insurance. They keep me pretty busy but i guess i really don't mind although i really don't get to hang out with people as much as i used to. But it pays the rent you know. That is a very important thing.
I think that is all i have for right now! I will talk to you later! Love you all!!
Bridgett
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| Well... another chapter of life is complete is what i keep being told... but i really don't know if i believe that!
Ritters... i come to find out today... is closing for good... they are taking the land and doing something else with it.
I don't know why i feel so bad about this... i feel like someone has died or a part of me has been cut off and i will never be getting it back. I know that that sounds so stupid to be saying that because it was just a job. A job that i complained about and that i never really liked... but it seems that i did. I don't know... that job was a big part of my life and i defined myself by it... i was a manager at ritters... and i will never be that again. I just feel so utterly lost now that it is gone... i mean that is always the place that i ran too if i wanted to get away... that was the place that made me happy when i was there. And now the pending doom of trying to find a job that makes me happy just like Ritters did. Although i don't think there is such a job.
I feel like i want to hid under a rock. Like all i was worth was in that building and now it is going to be nothing... does that mean that i am nothing as well... all the things that we did there are just going to be no more. I mean i know that we will have the memories but are memories really enough? I didn't think that it was going to come to this... i didn't think that i would feel this lost... i didn't think that i would have ever had to leave Ritters... I just wish that i didn't have to say goodbye.
I guess i am going to have to find something else to do with my life now... i just hate when i feel this way... if you think about it... it was just a job... why do i feel this way?
I DON'T KNOW! I think that i give up now!
RIP South Bend Ritter's Frozen Custard!
~B^2
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| A burden that does not even know how to spell the word... nice job high school! | | |
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